Saturday, August 1, 2009

I have no will power...

July 3, 2008 - Thursday
I have no will power when it comes to... Current mood: determined Category: Life
I have no will power when it comes to CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE!
We got back from our trip to Canada and I was the same weight as before--twenty pounds too heavy. I was determined, now that it was summer and I didn't have to go to school, to walk everyday for an hour. This was a reasonable, doable goal. And even if I didn't lose weight, well I was still helping my osteoporosis.
Monday I got up and went for my walk at 6:50 and came back at 7:45 a.m.. Having walked almost an hour, I was feeling very ready to do this everyday.
On Monday night the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE came into my life. Bill had a slice after dinner and I remembering my goal and the walk I'd had in the morning, I was feeling exercisably virtuous and so I declined to have any. Yay for me.
On Tuesday I got up and left at 7a.m. and got back at 7:50. I opened the refrigerator to get some orange juice to take my vitamins and there it was the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE with the one piece missing. I took it out and noticed the slice wasn't even. So tiny slivers at a time I evened it up. I remember when I was a kid and my mom kept evening up my bangs untill they were hardly there. But you could hardly tell I touched Bill's pie. I went imediately upstairs to brush my teeth and vowed not to eat anything until dinner.
Wednesday day 3 of my long walks arrived and this time I walked for a solid hour. I was even sweating. I came in and went right up to take a shower, wash my hair and look presentable for the rest of my day. Tuesday I stayed in the same walking clothes and had not evem bothered doing any make up. Today was different. Then I came downstairs to have cereal. But when I opened the refrigerator there was the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. It didn't even need evening up because I had done that yesterday and he hadn't had any since. I decided one little piece would hurt. So I cut a tiny sliver and then another and another not even bothering with a plate, just eating it off the knife. I could have eaten the whole thing, but tonight he might want his dessert. I vowed to eat nothing the rest of the day and when dinner came I would tell Bill I only wanted a little. After all it isn't really what you eat, it's how much you eat; and I had gone on that full hour walk, even up and down hills.
I felt guilty all day. I confessed to Bill at dinner. He said he didn't even like that pie. That's why it's still there. My mind couldn't even grasp that because I, however, love eating that pie and if I had known how he really felt, I honestly think I would have eaten the entire other half of pie just to get rid of it forever. He cut a piece after dinner. Then he said ,"first thing I do is I scrape off all the cream." He proceeded to throw the glob of whipped cream-- with the chocolate shavings-- into the sink. It was all I could do to keep from grabbing that glob and smearing it into my mouth. But just as the thought occurred to me, Bill washed it down the sink.
Day 4 My friend Liz reminded me it takes 21 days to make something a habit. It was harder to get up today for my walk. I actually was thinking about that quarter of the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. Then I told Bill to do me a favor and throw it out. I couldn't believe I even said it!! I only walked 45 minutes today. When I got back I went straight to the refrigerator. It was gone! I looked in the trash, but there was no trace of it. I went out to the trash barrels and there it was upended mixed with the other trash. I closed the lid and knew that was the end of the beautifully delicious CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. But I still will continue walking everyday... for at least 17 more days to see if my muscles have gotten the habit.
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