Love at Christmas...

Love at Christmas is when your husband keeps turning the tree this way and that until you finally pronounce it perfect and he doesn't act irritated.

Love at Christmas is when your husband is getting ready for a business trip and then goes out and puts up Christmas lights on the front of the house to surprise you.

Love at Christmas is when your husband takes you shopping at the mall.

Love at Christmas is when your husband gets you a beautiful poinsettia plant and he actually can't stand those flowers but knows you like them.

Love at Christmas is when your husband has a wonderful breakfast waiting for you when you get back from your long Saturday morning walk.

Not such good choices...

Not such good choices. Current mood: disgusted Category: Life
It all started when I didn't wake up early. I ate a banana and went for my walk at l0 a.m. That is just too late on such a humid day but I made it back in an hour. I decided I needed some breakfast so I could take my vitamins. One scoop of cookie dough ice cream, covered with black berries, a handful of walnuts and another of almonds. Oh wait topped with extra creamy whipped cream. What a delicious breakfast.
I enjoyed breakfast so much I decided to have the same thing for lunch. What a delicous lunch. And now I remember to take my vitamins.
The afternoon came and I needed a snack so I had one piece of my Dark Chocolate California Brittle. A present from Erica that I've been rationing since Mother's Day.
Erica was not going to be able to walk, so I decided to eat early. That is when I discovered the three avacados about to go bad. I put them in a bowl and mixed them with some ranch dressing. Then I toasted a tortilla with butter and globbed on the avacado mixture.
Had to kill the taste of all those avacados so I had yet another piece of my candy.
Good news Erica did want to walk. No amount of exercise was going to make up for the stuff I'd eaten today, but more exercise certainly wouldn't hurt. Bad news she did want to go out to dinner.
We went to the Mexican restaurant. I had a bite of the quesadilla, but no guacamole for me!
I decided to tell Bill who is in LA and to blog this so I would tell myself the truth about my poor choices.
Tomorrow is another day and I plan to make better food choices. I also plan to get up early. I will not pull down those blackout blinds. I do have a stomach ache now, but this too shall pass.

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500 steps.

500 steps... Current mood: tired
As I round the final corner of the down slope to my home, I've counted 500 steps to get back home.
The wind is to my back cooling off my sweaty head. It's been almost an hour since I've left my cozy bed.
My water bottle's drained, this down hill is not a strain.
And it's just 500 steps until I'm home.
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And he said...

And he said.... Current mood: determined
So I went to see the doctor for a checkup. He asked about my exercise, and I proudly said I was walking about an hour a day. He smiled cause last year I wasn't doing any. But, I added, I'm not losing any weight. It's been 18 days...in a row. AND HE SAID, "Don't pay any attention to the scale."
I was already upset because the doctor office scale weighed two pounds more than I had at home. AND HE SAID, "Carol, you are walking to strengthen your heart, you're walking to improve the circulation in your lympatic system, you're walking to lower your cholesterol and you're walking to strengthen your bones. Pay no attention to the scale."
Now I never want to take health for granted but I have been walking a hour a day so that I could wear a bikini on my new lounge chair that is coming next month for my one year anniversary.
You'd think if my walking could multi-task all those issues the doctor mentioned, it could also add get rid of my "muffin top and the "pouch" where my C-section scar is from 1978.
I told Bill I'd walked my 18th day in a row AND HE SAID, I'll be more excited when you tell me you've just walked your 180th day." One hundred and eighty days! I didn't sign up for that. That's a long time. Surely my "muffin top" and "pouch" will be gone way before then.
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Living Life the Hard Way...

July 18, 2008 - Friday
Living Life the Hard Way.... Current mood: tested Category: Life
Having just completed my l8th day of walking, I am recording my thoughts over the past two days.It is hard to live life the hard way...because it is easier:*to go downhill than uphill.( It actually takes twice as much time and energy, but it is a Big hill from the top to the bottom) But back to my list. It is easier:*to give up...than to keep trying*to make a mess...than to clean it up*to take a shortcut...than to go the distance*to spend money...than it is to save money*to beak something...than to fix it (and somethings can never to fixed)*to email...than to send a card in the snail mail.*to be impatient...than to be patient*to waste time...than be productive*to gain weight...than to lose it (Don't get me started on that one!)*to eat junk...than to eat healthy*to watch TV...than to read a book*to tell a lie...than to tell the truth*to make promises...than to keep promises *to be distracted...than to pay attentionIt's hard to live life the hard way because it is easier said than done.
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I have no will power...

July 3, 2008 - Thursday
I have no will power when it comes to... Current mood: determined Category: Life
I have no will power when it comes to CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE!
We got back from our trip to Canada and I was the same weight as before--twenty pounds too heavy. I was determined, now that it was summer and I didn't have to go to school, to walk everyday for an hour. This was a reasonable, doable goal. And even if I didn't lose weight, well I was still helping my osteoporosis.
Monday I got up and went for my walk at 6:50 and came back at 7:45 a.m.. Having walked almost an hour, I was feeling very ready to do this everyday.
On Monday night the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE came into my life. Bill had a slice after dinner and I remembering my goal and the walk I'd had in the morning, I was feeling exercisably virtuous and so I declined to have any. Yay for me.
On Tuesday I got up and left at 7a.m. and got back at 7:50. I opened the refrigerator to get some orange juice to take my vitamins and there it was the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE with the one piece missing. I took it out and noticed the slice wasn't even. So tiny slivers at a time I evened it up. I remember when I was a kid and my mom kept evening up my bangs untill they were hardly there. But you could hardly tell I touched Bill's pie. I went imediately upstairs to brush my teeth and vowed not to eat anything until dinner.
Wednesday day 3 of my long walks arrived and this time I walked for a solid hour. I was even sweating. I came in and went right up to take a shower, wash my hair and look presentable for the rest of my day. Tuesday I stayed in the same walking clothes and had not evem bothered doing any make up. Today was different. Then I came downstairs to have cereal. But when I opened the refrigerator there was the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. It didn't even need evening up because I had done that yesterday and he hadn't had any since. I decided one little piece would hurt. So I cut a tiny sliver and then another and another not even bothering with a plate, just eating it off the knife. I could have eaten the whole thing, but tonight he might want his dessert. I vowed to eat nothing the rest of the day and when dinner came I would tell Bill I only wanted a little. After all it isn't really what you eat, it's how much you eat; and I had gone on that full hour walk, even up and down hills.
I felt guilty all day. I confessed to Bill at dinner. He said he didn't even like that pie. That's why it's still there. My mind couldn't even grasp that because I, however, love eating that pie and if I had known how he really felt, I honestly think I would have eaten the entire other half of pie just to get rid of it forever. He cut a piece after dinner. Then he said ,"first thing I do is I scrape off all the cream." He proceeded to throw the glob of whipped cream-- with the chocolate shavings-- into the sink. It was all I could do to keep from grabbing that glob and smearing it into my mouth. But just as the thought occurred to me, Bill washed it down the sink.
Day 4 My friend Liz reminded me it takes 21 days to make something a habit. It was harder to get up today for my walk. I actually was thinking about that quarter of the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. Then I told Bill to do me a favor and throw it out. I couldn't believe I even said it!! I only walked 45 minutes today. When I got back I went straight to the refrigerator. It was gone! I looked in the trash, but there was no trace of it. I went out to the trash barrels and there it was upended mixed with the other trash. I closed the lid and knew that was the end of the beautifully delicious CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. But I still will continue walking everyday... for at least 17 more days to see if my muscles have gotten the habit.
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Why do I even try?

March 3, 2008 - Monday
Why Do I Even Try? Current mood: Not so helpful Category: Not so helpful Romance and Relationships
It was Saturday night, and my wonderful husband was cooking.
All of a sudden he spilled the flour container on the floor. (Okay, I distracted him by talking) Trying to be helpful I got the vacuum and cleaned it up...or at least that was what I thought. I turned around and noticed some flour behind me on the floor. I honestly , at that moment, thought he spilled more.
Well as it so happened, there wasn't a bag in the vaccuum and it blew out the back.!!! Everything had a thin coat of flour--cabinets, trash cans, refrigerator, and the floor. It even went all the way into the diningroom. He insisted on cleaning everything himself.
It would have been so much easier and effective to just let him clean it up in the first place. but I wanted to help!
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A Day I Remember...

February 19, 2008 - Tuesday
A day I remember... Current mood: blessed
It was thirty years ago that my son, Eric Randall, was born. It was thirty years ago that he also died. I didn't understand then and, this side of heaven, I won't ever really understand. I didn't think then that I would ever get to be a mother, but God's plan included my daughters, Erica Anne and Amy Lynne.
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What Was I Thinking?

What was I thinking?? Current mood: aggravated Category: Life
So I decided to try panty hose with no waist band. I thought it would keep from cutting into my stomach. Now they just don't stay up. I am late for school so I will have that "they're falling" feelling all day. I need to do something about my stomach protrusion. But even with no stomach these things wouldn't stay up!

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Before Bill Came...

February 4, 2008 - Monday
Before... Current mood: warm Category: Life
Before my husband came into my life (in no particular order):
I didn't make my bed in the morning.
I didn't have a "human" alarm clock. I didn't get up on time or go to bed at a reasonable time.
I didn't plan meals.
I didn't sit down to eat dinner.
I didn't watch golf.
I didn't go to Wall Mart
I didn't have a mattress warmer. (No really, it's electric)
I didn't know when the holdidays from school were (now I can't wait)
I didn't have left overs.
I didn't have any grandchildren, now I have two granddaughters.
I didn't travel as much, and I certainly didn't unpack as soon as I returned home.
I didn't know how to be quiet in the morning or in the car.
I didn't have so many flowers in my yard.
I didn't park my car in the garage.
I didn't have anyone to share the household chores with.
I didn't drink wine with dinner.
I didn't have anyone to send mushy, romantic cards to.
I didn't have short hair and didn't realize how much tme it would save.
And I didn't smile nearly as much
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Pruning the Roses

January 26, 2008 - Saturday
Pruning the Roses. Current mood: thoughtful Category: So many life lessons in pruning my roses. Life
I set about the large task of pruning the roses. I had 17 bushes to do. Just some random thoughts. Some braches had to be cut with flower buds still on them ready to bloom soon. I hated to prune them before they bloomed, but it had to be done. I'd already put it off since last week. It got me thinking.... Those almost flowers are like the good things I was going to do, but never had enough time. It would have been beautiful if I had made that call, written that letter, or written that thank you.
Some old, even dead branches had to be cut to encourage new growth. It got me thinking... That's like all my old hurts, disappointments and resentments. They too need to be pruned from my life to encourage love to grow.
Boy this rose pruning seem to hold so many life lessons. The branches last year that I didn't prune enough grews long and spindly and couldn't even hold some of their flowers this year. Sometimes I do a little work on myself, but not enough to really make the difference I need.
I am looking forward to glorious roses this year because of the work I did today. Now to work on some more pruning of me.


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Brighten the Corner...

December 8, 2007 - Saturday
Brighten the corner where you are.
So I get up this morning and go downstairs to say "something" to my husband and he reminds me he is eating breakfast. I decide I will go for a walk and when I get down to the garage I discover that it is pouring rain. Anyone who knows me well knows I would much rather be in bed than go anywhere in the rain. But I was upset with myself for not remembering that he likes it quiet before he's had breakfast/coffee. So I put up my umbrella and start walking... I think I was punishing myself... Then I saw a lady about to dash out for her morning paper sans umbrella and I quickly picked it up and handed it to her. She smiled and thanked me and I was on my way. An edlerly man opened his door and spotteed his paper almost at the curb. I called out "Stay dry; I'll get it." He, too, smiled , thanked me, and said I was a good Samaritan. It then occurred to me that I could put everyone's paper, who was on my walking route, on their porch. I was already damp and cold no sense for anyone else to be. I was in such a better mood when I got home. I had hellped people, and I had walked!
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Am I Crazy?

December 4, 2007 - Tuesday
Am I crazy? Current mood: slightly irritated
Okay, am I crazy? We stayed at the downtown Hilton Hotel in Seattle. I understand it is a ***** Five Star Hotel. Well after a Thanksgiving dinner and a rousing game of Mexican dominoes I came back and to my horror discovered that my pillow appeared to be missing. On further examination and squeezing, I located my pillow which had been put in the Hotel pillow case. Now I was wondering where is my pillow case.
I inquired at the front desk and the lady quickly turned me over to housekeeping. The problem was I was leaving right then. When I got home I inquired via email. I have received several emails, but to no avail. It is not like they could use it. It didn't match theirs and I have three others like it at home.
I am a person that simply must travel with her own pillow so now I think I will get a colored one so it will be more obvious.
I was trying to do all this inquiry without telling my husband and then it came an email to me sent to him that he forwarded to me. Now I am wondering should I mention it or just try to pretend I never had a pillow case taken by the Hilton?
It was 100% egyptian cotton-- pure white (there's had stripes). Someone just wasn't paying attention. I had to try and get it back, didn't I?
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It's only funny if it isn't you

October 29, 2007 - Monday
It’s only funny if it isn’t you.

For days Bill and Erica have been badgering me to get a flu shot this year. I've never gotten a flu shot, and I've been dragging my feet.
With all the fires and nothing to do I finally decided to call for a flu shot, but because of the fires, they weren't giving them at this time.
So there I am walking toward Albertson's when I see the big Flu Shot sign on the front of their building. Only I can't see it well because it is folded down so I'm walking with my head tipped to the left and then it happened...
I tripped over the blue handicap curb and went sprawling flat in front of the store. OOOh my left foot and wrist and knee hurt, but I quickly could tell nothing seemed to be broken.
I was helped up so I could go rest and fill out an accident report. The manager came and brought me ice for my foot. Then she asked "is there anything else I can do for you?" Without missing a beat I said "could you get me a medium onion and some dill weed." She returned and I asked, "is that dried dill weed?" "Oh, you don't want fresh?" the manager asks. She quickly takes it and returns with the dried dill weed. I hobbled out of the store after paying for it.
When I tell my daughter she is laughing hysterically. I must say I failed to see the humor. As far as I'm concerned Flu shots are hazzardous!

Why Can't They

October 25, 2007 - Thursday
Why can’t they?
Watching all this California wildfire news I was wondering why they can't put flame retardant in everyone's paint and in all roof materials? I mean a heavy duty sealant type stuff that would actually put out the fire when it comes in contact with fire. Some scientist should invent it. Lots of people in California would buy it. It's a better option than moving everyone out of the state.
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A Dream Come True

August 15, 2007 - Wednesday
A Dream Come True
I am 61 years old. I never was going to meet the man of my dreams without a lot of divine intervention. And when God answered that prayer it was beyond anything I had imagined (Seriously I don't dream this good!) And now to marry the man of my dreams is God's amazing grace and goodness in ways I could never expect. We both feel so blessed. I got married for the first time when I was 21 and now 40 years later I am married again (Didn't Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?) It was Moses that used to be my source of hope. I kept thinking in the 39th year, Moses had no way of knowing he was getting out. And certainly that is true for my last year. We got token rings when we were in Alaska (we actually used those rings in our impromtu wedding) and we said we'd get married in two years. So there you have it another eHarmony success story. Even if I joined for 3 years and met him one month later and then they wouldn't give me my money back. I'm amortizing him over time. We have nothing but praise and thanks to God for His divine intervention.
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My Trip of a lifetime!

July 18, 2007 - Wednesday
My trip of a lifetime! Current mood: content
I've always wanted to go to Alaska. Me who wears long sleeves in 80 degree weather. Me who doesn't really like being far from home. There was just one thing I wanted to take to Alaska (should I ever go) and that was someone that I wanted to keep me warm. Well, I've finally taken my dream cruise to Alaska with a man I truly love. It was everything I wanted and so much more. I paddled a canoe and rowed a kayak. I also ate so much...fresh crab and salmon. Okay lots of yummy desserts, too. One simply cannot diet on a cruise, but I am officially not eating anything past 7 p.m. any longer. It was such a wonderful vacation, we are planning another in two years. I should be thin enough to go again by then.

It's not that...

July 7, 2008
It’s not that ... Current mood: focused
It's not that I am trying to get into skinny jeans. I am walking a hour a day so that maybe my stomach won't hang over my fat jeans and shorts. And then I also don't want to let myself go now that I am married. One nice thing about being 62 is no one even asks if you're pregnant. They just know you're getting fat. But it seems harder and harder to lose weight and easier and easier to accept it.
Day 10 of the walking. That's the one good thing about starting on the first. Now I always know what day I'm on and I know the date.
The earlier I start the better. At 6:30 a.m. I am excited to go. At 7:00 a.m. Okay I'm going. At 7:30 a.m. Do I have to go? Today was the first 7:30 a.m. day. There's more traffic and much harder to get started. Quiet time was gone. No noticeable birds singing. I did walk noticing all the differences of starting later and vowed to get up early tomorrow.
As I was walking today I was a little behind one of those bra topped, wire dangling from her ear walkers. I caught up to her and then passed her. I know why race horses run faster when they're next to a fast horse. Soon I left her far behind humming. She definitely wasn't a serious walker. And truth be told, she didn't need to be.
Walking with a friend is different. This is serious, focused walking. And the words to " you've got to walk that lonesome valley, you've got to walk it by yourself. Nobody else can walk it for you, you've got to walk it by yourself." went throught my head this morning. And I thought that song is right. This is my walk. I can go as fast as I can or as slow as I need. I can walk in the street which is harder with two people, but easier on your feet. I don't have to say a word or I can talk to myself. I can change my route. I am getting into a rut, though. I walk up my street and then down a long steep street. When I get to the corner I walk back up that long steep street and when I get to the top, I walk down to my street. It takes about an hour. I have yet to clock it in the car, And exactly after 40 minutes I start to sweat and keep sweating the other 20 minutes home.
I even thought about pushing myself more. But I was sweating after the hour and my water bottle was almost empty. "Slow and steady, wins the race," I told myself and then walked as fast as I could down the street. Another day to count.

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It's Reasonable...

July 5, 2008 - Saturday
It’s reasonable.... Current mood: awake Category: Life
It's reasonable to think I could get up every morning and walik for about an hour. Today is day 6 and it doesn't appear to be getting easier. Today I actually felt like I was walking in slow motion and sweating in high speed.
I never understand the walkers in bra tops with wires dangling out of their ears. I love the morning sounds. I talk to myself and God on my morning walks. As far as the bra top...well, maybe if I lose 20 pounds...Nah. I tell myself all the way down the hill "Jiggle that fat off, Jiggle that fat off..." Then all the way up the hill I tell myself "One foot in front of the other...one foot in front of the other that's the only way to get back home."
I have really come to appreciate trees. It's like a built in rest when you walk a shady sidewalk because of the trees.
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Things I wonder about

January 11, 2007 - Thursday
Things I wonder about..
It seems strange that we put so much emphasis on washing our hands after using the bathroom, when before we get to the sink we've wiped our hands on every article of our clothing. I think they should have a sink right next to the toilet and then you could use the bathroom, wash your hands, and then attend to all your clothing. Just a thought. But please, don't forget to flush!

Profound Truth in Hymns

July 18, 2006 - Tuesday
Profound Truth in Hymns
I love the old hymns. There is so much profound truth in them. It's amazing how I can just see the words and remember the tune and sing the hymn.
The following hymn, He Giveth More Grace, I do not know as a song, but the words by Annie Johnson Flint (1866-1932). touched me and I trust they will do the same to anyone that reads this.
"He giveth more grace when the burden grows greater.
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase.
To added affliction, He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
His love has no limit, His grace has no measure.
His power has no boundary known unto men.
For out of his infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth and giveth and giveth again.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When strength has failed ere the day half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

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Playing The Odds

March 12, 2006 - Sunday
Are you playing the odds?
One Last Time....
My brother,
ever the gambler,
played the odds with God,
and God let him win...
one last time.
1947-2006

I believe

November 12, 2005 - Saturday
I believe
In the l950's there was a song called I Believe that was meant to give hope to many Americans. It stated that "I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. I believe that somewhere in the darkest night, a candle glows. Every time I hear a new-born baby cry, or touch a leaf, or see the sky---then I know why I believe." I was challenged to think about what I truly believe and here is my attempt:
I BELIEVE THAT JESUS CHRIST IS LORD OF LORDS AND KING OF KINGS.
I BELIEVE WHEN SOMEONE COMES TO KNOW MY LORD, THE ANGELS SING.
EVERY TIME I THINK OF WHAT IT COST MY LORD TO PAY THE PRICE TO GIVE ME LIFE,
THEN I KNOW WHY I BELIEVE.
I BELIEVE THAT JESUS CHRIST WAS FULLY GOD AND LIVED AS MAN.
I BELIEVE WHEN JESUS DIED UPON THE CROSS, HE ROSE AGAIN.
I BELIEVE HE's COMING BACK TO TAKE ME THERE. I HAVE NO FEAR. HE'LL WIPE MY TEARS
BECAUSE I KNOW, WHY I BELIEVE. (all rights reserved)
People have said to me, Carol, what if you get to the end of your life and there is no more? I don't believe that is true, but even if it was, I have llived my life with hope.( It has been said people can go weeks without food and days without water but not a minute without hope.) I have lived my life, even the tough stuff, never feeling alone. But what if it is true? You have rejected the most high God because of what, pride? "What will you do with Jesus? Neutral you cannot be. Someday you will be asking what will He do with me?" (from a poem I learned years ago)
People have said they couldn't be a Christian because of all the Christian hypocrits. So, you are going to let THEM keep you from making peace with God. I have made many mistakes in my life, but it is my prayer that you would not let any of those things keep you from making your own peace with God. Love hugs and prayers Carol