And he said...

And he said.... Current mood: determined
So I went to see the doctor for a checkup. He asked about my exercise, and I proudly said I was walking about an hour a day. He smiled cause last year I wasn't doing any. But, I added, I'm not losing any weight. It's been 18 days...in a row. AND HE SAID, "Don't pay any attention to the scale."
I was already upset because the doctor office scale weighed two pounds more than I had at home. AND HE SAID, "Carol, you are walking to strengthen your heart, you're walking to improve the circulation in your lympatic system, you're walking to lower your cholesterol and you're walking to strengthen your bones. Pay no attention to the scale."
Now I never want to take health for granted but I have been walking a hour a day so that I could wear a bikini on my new lounge chair that is coming next month for my one year anniversary.
You'd think if my walking could multi-task all those issues the doctor mentioned, it could also add get rid of my "muffin top and the "pouch" where my C-section scar is from 1978.
I told Bill I'd walked my 18th day in a row AND HE SAID, I'll be more excited when you tell me you've just walked your 180th day." One hundred and eighty days! I didn't sign up for that. That's a long time. Surely my "muffin top" and "pouch" will be gone way before then.
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Living Life the Hard Way...

July 18, 2008 - Friday
Living Life the Hard Way.... Current mood: tested Category: Life
Having just completed my l8th day of walking, I am recording my thoughts over the past two days.It is hard to live life the hard way...because it is easier:*to go downhill than uphill.( It actually takes twice as much time and energy, but it is a Big hill from the top to the bottom) But back to my list. It is easier:*to give up...than to keep trying*to make a mess...than to clean it up*to take a shortcut...than to go the distance*to spend money...than it is to save money*to beak something...than to fix it (and somethings can never to fixed)*to email...than to send a card in the snail mail.*to be impatient...than to be patient*to waste time...than be productive*to gain weight...than to lose it (Don't get me started on that one!)*to eat junk...than to eat healthy*to watch TV...than to read a book*to tell a lie...than to tell the truth*to make promises...than to keep promises *to be distracted...than to pay attentionIt's hard to live life the hard way because it is easier said than done.
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I have no will power...

July 3, 2008 - Thursday
I have no will power when it comes to... Current mood: determined Category: Life
I have no will power when it comes to CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE!
We got back from our trip to Canada and I was the same weight as before--twenty pounds too heavy. I was determined, now that it was summer and I didn't have to go to school, to walk everyday for an hour. This was a reasonable, doable goal. And even if I didn't lose weight, well I was still helping my osteoporosis.
Monday I got up and went for my walk at 6:50 and came back at 7:45 a.m.. Having walked almost an hour, I was feeling very ready to do this everyday.
On Monday night the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE came into my life. Bill had a slice after dinner and I remembering my goal and the walk I'd had in the morning, I was feeling exercisably virtuous and so I declined to have any. Yay for me.
On Tuesday I got up and left at 7a.m. and got back at 7:50. I opened the refrigerator to get some orange juice to take my vitamins and there it was the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE with the one piece missing. I took it out and noticed the slice wasn't even. So tiny slivers at a time I evened it up. I remember when I was a kid and my mom kept evening up my bangs untill they were hardly there. But you could hardly tell I touched Bill's pie. I went imediately upstairs to brush my teeth and vowed not to eat anything until dinner.
Wednesday day 3 of my long walks arrived and this time I walked for a solid hour. I was even sweating. I came in and went right up to take a shower, wash my hair and look presentable for the rest of my day. Tuesday I stayed in the same walking clothes and had not evem bothered doing any make up. Today was different. Then I came downstairs to have cereal. But when I opened the refrigerator there was the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. It didn't even need evening up because I had done that yesterday and he hadn't had any since. I decided one little piece would hurt. So I cut a tiny sliver and then another and another not even bothering with a plate, just eating it off the knife. I could have eaten the whole thing, but tonight he might want his dessert. I vowed to eat nothing the rest of the day and when dinner came I would tell Bill I only wanted a little. After all it isn't really what you eat, it's how much you eat; and I had gone on that full hour walk, even up and down hills.
I felt guilty all day. I confessed to Bill at dinner. He said he didn't even like that pie. That's why it's still there. My mind couldn't even grasp that because I, however, love eating that pie and if I had known how he really felt, I honestly think I would have eaten the entire other half of pie just to get rid of it forever. He cut a piece after dinner. Then he said ,"first thing I do is I scrape off all the cream." He proceeded to throw the glob of whipped cream-- with the chocolate shavings-- into the sink. It was all I could do to keep from grabbing that glob and smearing it into my mouth. But just as the thought occurred to me, Bill washed it down the sink.
Day 4 My friend Liz reminded me it takes 21 days to make something a habit. It was harder to get up today for my walk. I actually was thinking about that quarter of the CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. Then I told Bill to do me a favor and throw it out. I couldn't believe I even said it!! I only walked 45 minutes today. When I got back I went straight to the refrigerator. It was gone! I looked in the trash, but there was no trace of it. I went out to the trash barrels and there it was upended mixed with the other trash. I closed the lid and knew that was the end of the beautifully delicious CHOCOLATE SATIN CREAM PIE. But I still will continue walking everyday... for at least 17 more days to see if my muscles have gotten the habit.
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Why do I even try?

March 3, 2008 - Monday
Why Do I Even Try? Current mood: Not so helpful Category: Not so helpful Romance and Relationships
It was Saturday night, and my wonderful husband was cooking.
All of a sudden he spilled the flour container on the floor. (Okay, I distracted him by talking) Trying to be helpful I got the vacuum and cleaned it up...or at least that was what I thought. I turned around and noticed some flour behind me on the floor. I honestly , at that moment, thought he spilled more.
Well as it so happened, there wasn't a bag in the vaccuum and it blew out the back.!!! Everything had a thin coat of flour--cabinets, trash cans, refrigerator, and the floor. It even went all the way into the diningroom. He insisted on cleaning everything himself.
It would have been so much easier and effective to just let him clean it up in the first place. but I wanted to help!
12:36 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

A Day I Remember...

February 19, 2008 - Tuesday
A day I remember... Current mood: blessed
It was thirty years ago that my son, Eric Randall, was born. It was thirty years ago that he also died. I didn't understand then and, this side of heaven, I won't ever really understand. I didn't think then that I would ever get to be a mother, but God's plan included my daughters, Erica Anne and Amy Lynne.
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What Was I Thinking?

What was I thinking?? Current mood: aggravated Category: Life
So I decided to try panty hose with no waist band. I thought it would keep from cutting into my stomach. Now they just don't stay up. I am late for school so I will have that "they're falling" feelling all day. I need to do something about my stomach protrusion. But even with no stomach these things wouldn't stay up!

12:30 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Before Bill Came...

February 4, 2008 - Monday
Before... Current mood: warm Category: Life
Before my husband came into my life (in no particular order):
I didn't make my bed in the morning.
I didn't have a "human" alarm clock. I didn't get up on time or go to bed at a reasonable time.
I didn't plan meals.
I didn't sit down to eat dinner.
I didn't watch golf.
I didn't go to Wall Mart
I didn't have a mattress warmer. (No really, it's electric)
I didn't know when the holdidays from school were (now I can't wait)
I didn't have left overs.
I didn't have any grandchildren, now I have two granddaughters.
I didn't travel as much, and I certainly didn't unpack as soon as I returned home.
I didn't know how to be quiet in the morning or in the car.
I didn't have so many flowers in my yard.
I didn't park my car in the garage.
I didn't have anyone to share the household chores with.
I didn't drink wine with dinner.
I didn't have anyone to send mushy, romantic cards to.
I didn't have short hair and didn't realize how much tme it would save.
And I didn't smile nearly as much
11:19 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove